you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
