matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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