I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize