That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
