i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
