playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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