you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
