16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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