u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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