if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
