ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
