seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
a search helicopter?!
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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