My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
