is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize