i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
