marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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