4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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