there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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