i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
