Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
