i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
