Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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