Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
