My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
