How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
