I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
