Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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