so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
