Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
