Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Randomize
