i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
