Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
