I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
