You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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