I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
