I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
