someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
