Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We are two peas in an std pod
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Let's paint friendship bongs
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
