yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Randomize
