so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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