I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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