My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
