you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
