omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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