You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
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