i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
