So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
