Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
