Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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