we're blogging at a bar
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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