take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he was CRYING into my vagina
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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