it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
