Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
