We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
