you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
operation harelip BJ is a go
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
