i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
