I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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