I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize