So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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