worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
