We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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