I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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