Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
