Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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