If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
my poor anus
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize