he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
