Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
