you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize