i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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