yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
